I need a manifesto.

I have made a momentous decision (see title). There is, of course, a glaring flaw in this plan. I do not have any strong political motivations. I had lunch today with one of my work colleagues, and she asked about my political leanings. "Well," I replied, "ideologically, I would have to say I have liberal tendencies, although I have been fairly impressed with the federal conservative actions so far. But I voted Green in the last election. Because I like the colour." (note: while I actually said this, the colour (so pretty!) is not the real reason. I like their platforms. I also think that a fundamentalist Christian snowball wearing a placard that reads "Demons suck" has a better chance in Hell than the Green party does of being elected to federal leadership. But a girl can dream.)

I digress. My manifesto will not be about political ideologies. There are far, far too many people who believe that other people give a crap about what their political ideologies are. Those people are fools. Because what the public really wants is a manifesto on insomnia, the best snack treats, road rage, and lazy, lazy stalkers. Also gardening, dogs, suicidal squirrels, angry crows, strange relatives, dysfunctional families. Not to mention graphic novels and how they're better than 99% of the shite that comes out on the "BEST SELLER LIST". Seriously, Dr. Phil. Seriously, Oprah. How about a little more zombie on that list, yeah?

I will call it, "The Super-Mega-Awesome-Neato-Cool Manifesto" (note: this is a working title only, okay? No being all judgy and stuff. Write your own damn manifesto).