A break from the manifesto....

For an epiphany. A wonderfully horrible epiphany. (Incidentally, Chapter 1: or, "Special Squirrels Need The Most Love" is going well. Many revelations about emo squirrels. New emotional depths. Depths that haven't been explored in a while. Depths that probably should have been left alone to their own squirrelly devices. Depths with acorns. And chittering.).

I thought I was getting an ear infection at work today. Much localized head pain, tenderness, and my balance went total shite on me (No, I wasn't drunk. I was high. Kidding....officer). Also could have been the stilettos. We'll never know.

I tolerated it as best I could (whining incessantly and pawing at it like a cat wearing a novelty hat), got home, found a waterfall in my front lobby, and promptly forgot about it. OH MY SWEET BABY JESUS, was that a nightmare! I am not, nor will I ever be on the condo board, and yet somehow I ended up calling the property management, turning off the taps in the flooded laundry room, and talking to them about fifteen times that evening. I cannot stress enough how surreal it is to try and convince somebody that water pouring through the ceiling is worthy of an emergency plumber visit. Not to mention the floods of water pouring down the stairs and soaking: the laundry room; the apartment next to the laundry room; the hallway; the alternate staircase that provides a detour from said flooded lobby. All routes of escape are blocked by putrid-smelling H2O.

I spent the remainder of the evening cleaning the apartment in a frantic bid to discourage the Hellenic army of insects and other vermin that will shortly descend on our damp, warm, frat boy infested apartment complex ("Tonight, we dine in HELLOooo... Is that pizza?".

There was supposed to be an epiphany here somewhere... Right. I just put some ear medicine in, and bloody Hell, is that a disgusting feeling. I guess Mum's little dog isn't as slow as she pretends. The last time I tried to administer her ear medicine, 10 pounds of fluffy adorable dog got the better of me. Now I know why.