I think I'm getting pickier with my job applications, something I didn't think would happen for a bit longer. For instance, when I see the words urine or fecal, I go on to the next one. I'm not sure when this happened... It's not that I'm squeamish, because, hello. I have worked with some pretty gross stuff... I think... It's just that I'll be turning 27 soon, and I think that my fecal and urine-related work experience should be behind me now. I'd like to start working with fewer bodily fluids and other outputs. Maybe even have a cubicle.
On a kind of related rant, I'm a little pissed at my body right now. In the last year, I've quit smoking, and cut back on drinking alcohol, and started drinking water, and eating healthier, and all sorts of good stuff. I have never been so sick, so often. Right now I have... I don't even know what the hell it is. I don't think it's catching. It may be Timmy Thomas disease. You know, you'll be fine and then you'll have this horrible, rasping, disgusting cough. What the hell? Were the cigarettes keeping the viruses at bay? I mean, come on. It's really counter to everything that the health promotion people spout on about. If this keeps up, I"m going to have to start smoking again. It's not that I want to, or even like it anymore. Believe me, I've tried. (I do like the second-hand smoke smell, though. I've never sniffed longingly at so many construction workers and homeless people in my life as since I've quit smoking.)
Oh well.... So in other news, I am taking care of Mum's little dog, Butter Chubs Jr. for the next two days. She's actually not a fat little dog, it's just that I threw my back out picking her up once, so the moniker stays. Plus, it makes Mum laugh. This dog, while adorable and sweet and everything, is so bloody spoiled, it makes my head hurt. Mum was giving me instructions for feeding... "So in the morning and the evening, she gets one third of a can of the wet food." "Okay." "And I'll heat it up in the microwave for 11 seconds." "Oka... Whuh?" "And sometimes, I'll sprinkle a little cheese on top." "You know, mum, I can never tell when you're kidding." "Oh, I'm not kidding, dear."
So last night, I feed the dog. Sans cheese. And the dog sleeps in the bed ("On the left side, dear, I hope that's okay." "The dog has a side?!? Holy Mother, my last boyfriend didn't have a side!"), so we're sharing the bed. I thought I was going to die of asphyxiation last night. I have not smelled gas that terrible in my life, and I've dealt with some pretty rotten mouse bodies... Only one more night of it.... I may sleep on the couch.
posted by Siochain @ 1:31 PM
5 Comments
5 Comments:
When you quit smoking and start doing things healthier, your body reacts for a couple of years because it's trying to get all the shit out of you. It would be much nicer if it would all just leave the same way it arrived; insidiously and accompanied by hard partying and loose women. Unfortunately, it doesn't.
I've been sicker, more often, over the past three years than I ever was when I was smoking, drinking (more), eating KFC every day, and vociferously claiming that the little green chits in ichiban counted as vegetables.
Granted, I have curtain climbers who bring home all sorts of infectious crap. Even still, though, this being healthy business is crap. Once I added the regular strenuous exercise into the bag, I got the melfing and the runs and God only knows what else.
Some of us, I think, are meant to abuse ourselves, so that others may prosper in three-legged races.
Do I even want to know what "melfing" is?
Nobody seems to want to comment on the fact that the Dog has a "side". I think that this is an important area to consider becasue pets having "sides" has suddently become important to me in a very personal way. My cat Koda started off sleeping next to the bathroom door down the hall from my bedroom. Slowly, however, he has crept up the hallway through the bedroom door, until he was sleeping in my night-table on the little shelf where my books are supposed to go. THen, slowly but surely, he slipped from there to the foot of the bed, until last night when he was curled up next to my chest. I wouldn't mind, except that Koda isn't exactly a cuddly cat. He refuses, for example, to curl up on top of someone. Instead, if he wants to be where I am sleeping, he will hit me, repeatedly, with his paws. No claws...yet...just bapping me in the face and waking me up. I think he has decided that I am sleeping on his side of the bed, and that my sleep patterns will suffer for this indefinitely.
What goes with the runs when you're sick? Melfing is just an excellent way of being less gross but still giving you the full picture.
Melfing and the runs should be avoided if at all possible.
The cats like their food heated up too. I think it reminds them in some dim species-memory way of eating freshly killed... whatever it is cat food consists of.
Happy birthday, by the way.
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