Did you know there are approximately 161 000 sites listed when one does a search for "clinically depressed squirrels", and not a single one of them is any help?
Did you know that when you do a search for "depressed squirrels", there are over 500 000 sites? Several of these sites feature the same problem I am experiencing... I think there is a conspiracy here. There is obviously some sinister plan being executed on behalf of an evil squirrel overlord, called something truly nefarious, like Sir Nutkin Cute Cheeks. I don't know about you, but that strikes fear in my heart. They are trying to take out our means of transportation. Soon it will be the water supply. And then our supply of sour gummy worms! OH GOD! Must destroy squirrels!!!
[Disclaimer: the author spent the evening devouring approximately 38 pounds of sour gummy worms, Poprox, and cola. Please disregard everything she says.]